Wednesday, November 29, 2006

hey.

went out early in the morning la. actually it was 955am when i left. not exactly that early. took a cab to cdans home team NS to meet the guys to play badminton. for a hardcore football manager player/computer junkie. it was a good workout.

u know i was just listening to this song by hillsong. At the cross from the mighty to save album.

Oh Lord You’ve searched me,
You know my way;
Even when I fail You,
I know You love me.
Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season,
I know You love me;
I know You love me.

At the cross I bow my knee,
Where Your blood was shed for me,
There’s no greater love than this.
You have overcome the grave,
Your glory fills the highest place,
What can separate me now?

You go before me,
You shield my way,
Your hand upholds me;
I know You love me.

At the cross I bow my knee,
Where Your blood was shed for me,
There’s no greater love than this.
You have overcome the grave,
Your glory fills the highest place,
What can separate me now?

You tore the veil, You made a way
When You said that it is done.

And when the earth fades,
Falls from my eyes,
And You stand before me,
I know You love me;
I know You love me.

At the cross I bow my knee,
Where Your blood was shed for me,
There’s no greater love than this.
You have overcome the grave,
Your glory fills the highest place,
What can separate me now?

You tore the veil, You made a way
When You said that it is done.

Its just i wanted to close my eyes and experience that surreal presence that would fall and surround me. but at that instant. The image of the cross floated into my mind. I pictured that empty cross. Jesus wasnt there anymore. What was left, was blood stains, and it just came to my mind, each cry, the pain that went thru each of his arms when each nail was hammered in. i guess the pain he felt must have been much worst than anything i m feeling. again and again, i was reminded of how much i was loved. When it was done, when Jesus said it was finished, He opened the way, it was a narrow way, but it was a way to God, it was the way to life. it would be a painful way, but what Jesus went through for me, no one said it was goona be easy. but he did it anyway. the narrow way of life or the broad way of destruction. i choose the narrow way.

den its like, the path is open, the veil was torn. i felt the question ask me, what could seperate me now? what could seperate me now? what could seperate me from God's love, from the victory set in front of me? and the answer really was myself. u know, when Jesus died for us, He died for each and everyone of us. believers, non believers, but would u accept Him? and i realised, the song said, "at the cross i bowed my knee", i guess, it was gonna be my choice, victory was mine, all i had to do was take it, the only one who could destroy myself was me, if i went on sinning, if i went on ignoring the holy spirit, if i went on with my own way. sure, God still loves me, He loves me even when i fail Him. But i guess when i did all those stuff, what i did was shun the holy spirit, what i did was deny myself of the victory that had been won for me. it occurred to me, day by day, i could be living in my own defeat or living in that victory that Jesus won for me. i guess the lyrics of this song kinda reminds us, each day, we have to go back to the cross, we have to run thru it in our minds, the pain, the bloodshed, but we remember the victory, each day, we walk along that very same path, we feel the pain, we will suffer, but we know we have the victory, i guess thats carrying the cross daily. for Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life..."

and i choose the way, the truth and i choose life. i pray that Father, You ll take me thru this path everyday. Let me know through the pain, through hardship, through all that i m going thru. i am loved, i m protected and i m lifted up, and let me be steadfast in all i do for You. Let me know that...Your love is more than enough...

|cowpoo| 7:41 PM|

------